Apparently I am an Author!

I visited Ananda Sangha, the place where I learned to meditate, yesterday after a long time. And there, Tulsi, a long time Ananda friend, pointed me to someone new and said, “He is the author of that blog post.” A group of people craned their neck to see who this “author” was. And I stood there smiling not knowing how to react. It felt fantastic to be called an author even though it was just for a blog post. Hey, I wrote it, right? 🙂

The blog post in question is my post on my visit to Babaji’s cave. I was told that that new entrant has decided to go to the cave after reading my post. Ananda Sangha is also the place where once I was called by my pen name “Dexternepo.” No one has ever called me that and it took me completely by surprise when that person whom I had never seen before came up to me and called me by that name.

Thank you Ananda Sangha! And also thank you Google! Of all the people who have visited Babaji’s cave, very few people have written their experiences. And so my post gets served up on the first or the second page of Google’s search results when someone Google’s about the cave trip and as a result it is my most viewed post of all time. But I suspect that it has been my fellow Ananda friends who sent the link to my post to that person.

2018 — A Review

Today is the last day of this year and I feel like I should cling on to every minute of this day. Why? Was this such a great year? I don’t know. This year gave me so much joy and it also gave me so much pain. It was a thorough rollercoaster of a year and I am still not out of the woods yet. I would be carrying all the good memories of this year for the rest of my life. Although this year would end today, its effects may continue for a long time to come — whether in a good way or in a bad way, only time will tell. I am hoping it’s going to be good 🙂

I wish you and myself, a Happy New Year 2019!

My Date with Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

I came from home from work early yesterday because of a personal problem and I started watching TV. I was watching the second or third episode of the eighth season of Big Bang theory, and in that episode, Sheldon asks Howard to name a mathematician/physicist after whose name a cookie brand exists. The answer is Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz — a 17th century German.  I didn’t think much of it yesterday, but today, I missed work and went to a library. I climbed to the third floor, only because the third floor housed the computer science section, and as I was running through the books, I came across non-computer science books and I discovered that the third floor also housed books on philosophy. And one of the very first books I saw had the word “Leibniz” written on bold letters. “Is this the same Leibniz?” I asked myself. “Wasn’t he a physicist or mathematician? What’s he doing under Philosophy?” I took the book in one hand and started googling on my phone on the other hand. Turns out, Leibniz was a  physicist, mathematician, and a philosopher. That was a strange coincidence — to have a book of a guy you just heard about for the very first time in your life just the previous day. I wasn’t really in the mood for serious reading and I put back the book after reading the first few pages. But the day hasn’t ended yet and I am watching video after video of him on YouTube.

Mr.Leibniz, you are a really interesting person and we have a lot to talk.

A Divine Thunder!

What is this magic I am under?
It rocks my world like thunder!
Are you an angel, I wonder
You rip my heart asunder!
Like a river I flow and meander
Not anymore, I surrender!
Now I stumble, stall, and flounder
When I am just not around her.
Have you come to loot and plunder?
Tell me O angelic marauder!
I am a lost horse on a blinder
Why can’t you be my finder?

— dexternepo

Lost and Found

I searched for it in the darkest of dungeons
In the thickness of green woods
In long lost memories
In sacred temple altars
Under tall trees and over beautiful flowers
In the middle of mountains and before vast lakes
Even in the midst of friends and family
And the brightness of broad daylight
But never did I find it anywhere,
before being with you…

– dexternepo

The Angel in the Darkness

I walked amidst bushes and brambles, finding my way through tall dark trees as the moon played hide-and-seek behind the clouds. I struggled as I walked through the pathless heavily wooded terrain. With not a soul in sight and my own voice for company, I asked myself, “What am I doing? Why am I here?” And there I was, toiling through the woods for as long as I could remember. I hoped to get out of the woods, I hoped to feel a human embrace. But it all seemed wishful thinking as I marched on wearily. It was starting to get cold, and with each step my feet started to feel heavier. I trudged slowly and reached an ancient oak tree. As I stood there breathing heavily, I heard two birds chirping to each other. At the blink of an eye, a flood of warm light poured down from up above. I shielded my eyes and peered into the light as I saw the most beautiful being descend down through the light beam. I stood there stunned as I wondered what divine being this was. “An angel, she must be,” I said to myself. She smiled the most beautiful smile at me,  and I noticed her lovely rosy cheeks. The warmth from the light banished my coldness and her mere presence gave me strength. She slowly descended down and her feet gently touched the ground. I stood there astounded without uttering a single word.

“Are you not going to speak to me?” the Divine Angel asked me.

“Yes! Yes!” I said, breaking into a smile in a very long time. “Who are you?”

“Just a fellow traveller,” she said, still smiling.

“Will you come with me?” I asked hoping against hope that she would say yes.

The Divineness smiled. “No,” she said as my smile vanished. “But you come with me.”

I jumped with joy as I beamed ear to ear. “Really? I can come with you?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said smiling even more.

She put out her hand towards me, still standing in the beam of light. I walked forward as my right hand reached towards her’s. Our hands clasped each other and in that very moment I felt joy and warmth rushing within me. Feelings that I had never felt before ran wild and I smiled at her like a lunatic. I felt so much love — love that I hadn’t felt since my childhood. The angel looked like my mother for an instant. “She is my Divine Mother!” I said to myself. It was at this moment that I realized that this is what I had always wanted. I felt at home. All my troubles vanished and I felt stronger a thousand times. “My Divineness!” I said to her as she embraced me. “You are everything I ever wanted!” I mumbled as I rested my head on her shoulders. “Do not ever leave me,” I told her.

“I came for you and I will be with you always,” she said.

And that was all I ever wanted to hear.

Little Ralph and the street dog

Once Ralph went on a walk close to bed time. He was actually staying at his uncle’s house located at the ancient town of Bigfort. As he went through streets that were new to him, a big, mighty dog came out of nowhere. Both dog and Ralph regarded each other for a moment. Then slowly he bent forward and patted its head. The dog started wagging its tail. It then stood on its hind legs and placed its forelegs on his chest. Little Ralph didn’t expect that sudden move and backed off immediately. That dog was aggressively friendly. But only later something told him that it was wrong to move away. That dog was seeking love. It needed love so badly and it thought that he could give it. But it’s sudden movement scared him and turned him away. It’s been six or seven years since that incident, and Ralph still regrets not reciprocating that dog’s love. All it needed was love and he wasn’t able to give it. Ralph loves dogs and he often looks at the faces of the various street dogs that he comes across; some need love, some are content, some don’t care anymore, some want to please the humans around it, some are scared, and some are aggressive leaders of their streets. It’s amazing how dogs in general are beings of pure love and can exhibit human-like emotions. They are capable of showing so much love and they love being loved.

 Sometimes, Ralph feels like that dog that he left behind in that dark street — a dog who seeks love, but doesn’t know how to show it, nor does it know how to handle the love that it receives.