The Elements of Earth and Wind — Episode 2

The following is a continuation of The Elements of Earth and Wind.

The ground shuddered, causing a flock of startled birds to fly up in random directions — only to be caught up in a passing whirlwind. The air was filled with feathers all around. Panicked animals shot out of their hideouts as fast as they could. There were ripples and small waves all over the lakes and ponds nearby. “It’s the apocalypse!!!” shouted a sloth bear as it ran without a hint of any slothfulness. Is it really the apocalypse? Is this the end of the world? Not really. A closer look (by those special endowed beings and above) revealed something else. Love was in the air… and also in the ground. The Wind and Earth elements had fallen in love — deep love. The Wind element often built itself into whirlwinds and tornadoes to impress Earth. The Earth would respond by blushing, sending tremors around, and when it showcased its love, entire rivers changed courses.

But wait a minute? Didn’t God cast out these spirits previously? He did; only to give them a reprieve. These elements are part of God’s plan for something greater that was to come, and so God brought them back — a decision which he instantly started regretting.

A huge tornado raged across the planet.

“Oh my Divine Earth, look how mighty I am!” beamed Wind.

“Yes, you are so strong, sweety!” replied Earth. “But you are still younger than me, and also dumb.”

“What?” said the Wind, slowly losing its force. “I am younger than you?”

“So you accept that you’re dumb,” teased Earth. “That’s nice of you to accept.”

“No and no! I am not accepting anything,” replied Wind. “How am I younger than you?”

“Basic science, sweetheart,” smiled Earth. “I, Earth, came into existence before you did. There wasn’t even any atmosphere back then. If you had seen me how rough and fiery I was at that time, you wouldn’t even have fallen in love with me.”

“I would have still fallen in love and I know that.”

“There was too much volcanic activity and I was so hot. There wasn’t a hint of all this beauty and cuteness that you talk about right now, baby,” said Earth in a condescending tone just to further irritate Wind.

“I am sure you were so beautiful and cute even at that time,” huffed Wind.

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

Earth let out a rumble of laughter. “You’re so cute.”


Meanwhile, up in the Heavens, an old man with a long silvery beard and a flashing white robe sat deep in thought.

“Lord God, are you seeing what is happening?” came the meek voice of a young slender man called Morgan.

“Yes, Morgan, of course I see what is happening. I am God, remember?” replied an irritated God. “I am omniscient, for Go-my sake!”

Morgan was supposed to be the next Messiah to start a brand new religion over which seven new crusade wars were to be fought. He was Marvin the Messenger’s replacement after his untimely death. God was deeply disappointed that his well thought-out plan to start religious wars with Marvin had flopped big time. It wasn’t just the failure of his plan that disappointed him, it was the way in which Marvin died that infuriated him even more. This had happened a few years ago. Things were going according to plan and Marvin even had a set of his own disciples. He had slowly started converting a group of sun-worshipping villagers to his brand new religion and they were getting ready for his sermon under a banyan tree. This was exactly when the unfortunate incident happened.

God was closely monitoring the event with much interest when he heard something else.

“My Sweetness,” came the voice of Wind. This didn’t get God’s attention much as he did know how crazy wind can get.

“Yes, my baby,” replied Earth, much to God’s surprise. (“Oh my me,” He sat down heavily in disbelief).

“I love you!”

“I love you too,” replied Earth, blushing.

The blush sent a strong tremor towards the village — straight to the banyan tree.

“Do you know why I am here?” Marvin started his sermon.

The tree wobbled unnaturally for a second and came crashing down on Marvin and all his six disciples, effectively ending the religion on that very same day. The stunned villagers decided that he was a cursed man and went back to worshipping their sun god.

Both Morgan and God stared at each other for a few seconds thinking about Marvin’s end.

“It will be different this time,” said God. “This is fate at work and I am not going to meddle with it like last time.”

“How, my Lord God?” asked Morgan.


While God was busy formulating his plan, something else had happened on Earth. The people of all religions, who had seen the harshness of both the climate and the very earth that they live on, decided to move in search of finding a better place. All their attention was on finding new land, a place where there were less tremors and good climate without any cyclones. As a result of this massive search, people learned to live together forgetting their differences. They worked together, looked after each other, made sure that the food that they had was getting distributed evenly, they hunted together, they farmed together in places that they thought could hold them for longer. There weren’t any governments to control them, there wasn’t a need to police them, and there was no time for religious fights. It was during such a time that Morgan was cast into the planet.

“Hear me, great people of Earth!” Morgan declared dramatically as he walked into a group of people.

And this was exactly the moment when God heard something that he didn’t in the least wanted to hear.

A few minutes away from where Morgan was standing, Wind was blowing hard against a hill.

“What are you trying to do?” asked Earth.

“I am going to hug my sweetness,” said Wind.

“You don’t have my permission for this,” said Earth, smiling.

“Oh,” said Wind, it’s force against the hill coming down. “Can I please hug you? Please?”


“Please. I will do anything you say,” Wind pleaded.

“Anything for me?”

“Anything.” (At this point, God becomes quite agitated and turns all his attention towards this conversation from Morgan’s speech.)

“See that big boulder over there,” said Earth, pointing to a huge boulder near the hill. “I’ve never seen that boulder move even an inch in any wind or storm. Do you think you can move it for me?”

“Ha! That’s nothing! I can move it for you,” boasted Wind in his attempt to impress Earth. “I am not just going to move this boulder, I will be throwing it away for you!”

“My hero!” said Earth in her sweetest voice.

Wind immediately started blowing with all his might against the heavy boulder. As Earth had said, the boulder was really strong and heavy and had never moved from its position in the last two thousand years. The Wind huffed and puffed and threw all its might. It formed into a mighty whirlwind and pushed as much as it could. The boulder slowly started to budge.

“I can see where this is going,” said God and he prepared himself for what was about to happen. “Morgan, my child, I’ll save you.”

With one mighty push, the Wind managed to dislodge the boulder and threw it up in the air. The boulder arced a few miles above and it started its descent down — straight to where Morgan was standing.

Having accomplished his task, Wind enveloped the hill from all sides and caressed the hill gently. Earth hummed in delight.

As the projectile hurtled downwards, God snapped his fingers, and the ancient boulder blew into a million pieces as a lightning hit it out of nowhere. God smiled and looked at where Morgan was supposed to be speaking. But something had seriously gone wrong.

“He’s trying to divide us in the name of religion!” shouted a man in the crowd. “Kill him!”

“That is not what I am trying to do, my son,” said a nervous Morgan in the best saintly voice that he could muster under the circumstance.

Stones were thrown from all directions. Morgan the Messiah was now no more.

“My love,” said Wind. “Today was such a beautiful day. Don’t you think so?”

“Yes, my baby,” replied Earth. “You were fantastic!”

“No, it was really you.”

“No, baby.”

“Yes, sweetness.”

A dejected God sat heavily in his throne, as both Marvin the Messenger and Morgan and Messiah drank wine at a nearby pub called “The One and Only Heaven.”