I wish you, yes, YOU, a Happy New Year 2018! 🙂
I never wrote a review for 2016 as I am still trying to come to terms with what it was all about. But this is about 2017 and so let’s get on with it.
2017 began with me getting into a new project at a location that I was most familiar with. I used to love that place and would go for long walks all along the office campus. But this time it was different. I was kind of feeling that it was going to be a bit nostalgic and thought about the happy memories that that place had given me, but my experience there was different and I really didn’t feel a thing there. I just couldn’t connect with that place anymore. I came to the conclusion that it was because of my missing old colleagues. I was alone most of the time; I didn’t connect with anyone really and spent most of my free time (which was a lot) roaming around the campus all alone. This was how I had been spending my time in my previous project as well. I was recruited to be part of that project for a role which never materialized. And so I spent about three months sitting idle before getting released. So for a period of about 10 months, spread across both 2016 and 2017, I was roaming around all alone and aimless. Adding to this, I hated my management in the new project. They did give me some work now and then, but it was usually some boring stuff that I loathed to do and I rapidly started losing my attention and interest on everything. I think this sudden change in my day-to-day activities after about 8 years of familiarity and stability affected me at some level. There were other factors as well, but I’d rather not talk about them. I became depressed.
The year began on an ordinary note and took a turn for the worse. Was I scared? Nope. I just lost all feelings. How can I be scared when I am unable to feel? But I felt uncomfortable about the whole thing, so uncomfortable. And so the year rolled by in this manner. I knew that I was low on energy and if I had any chance for restoring myself, I had to increase my energy levels; yoga was the only medicine that I could think of. So I started learning yoga and I was right. I began to feel more energetic and strong. At the same time, with the help of a good friend of mine, I had the chance to move to a different project. This new project and the new friends I am making here is helping me so much. The year has ended on a high note. But of course, all is not 100% well. My inner demons rise up and bring me down at times and I am heavily relying on so many external factors to fight these demons. My mind aides me on so many things, and it is also my greatest enemy. I need to subdue him and bring him under my control, or at least make friends with him for sometime.
I am thankful to my Guru and God for all the help that I am receiving right now and for the great friendship that I have developed with a great person. Thank you, my Guru. Thank you, God.